To the person told you aren't talented enough...
To the person who has been told (sometimes more than once) that you’re not talented enough, this is for you. But first, a small introduction. I know it’s been a while since I have blogged anything. I told myself when I started blogging that it wasn’t something I wanted to schedule. My goal wasn’t to stress myself out with another deadline. I simply want to write when there is something on my heart. As most of you know, I got married last month (and it’s been nothing short of amazing) so I believe I was so focused on that, I really didn’t have much else on my mind. I do, however, have a lot of stories I’m excited to share about the time before, during and after my marriage which will be featured in future blog posts.. so stay tuned!
Moving on to why we are all here.. I was very involved vocally at my church in my hometown but, since moving back to Murfreesboro in the summer of 2017, I had taken the backseat. There are few reasons for this. First, you can’t just hop into ministry at a new church unless you’re invited to do so. I knew this and am 100% okay with it. Second, I needed a small break from it. There have been very, very few times in my life that I haven’t been heavily involved in my church. I took this opportunity to just be a church member and enjoy the benefits of it. Lastly, I was going through a small “funk”. I plan to write another blog about that and go into detail, but for now, all you need to know is that there were several months where I just wasn’t myself. Most of you know me as outgoing and goofy; very friendly. This is not the person I was being after moving back to Murfreesboro. So, my desire to sing really wasn’t there for a while.
Where all of this turned around was my wedding day. Again, more details of this will come in other blogs. There was absolutely something that changed in me that day. I felt like the true “Cheyenne” again. It’s like a switch just flipped! And poof! I was all better. I was happy, outgoing, laughing, goofy and friendly. It was a huge relief for me because I was so exhausted from suppressing my true self. Another factor to wanting to get back into singing was the fact that I sang at my wedding! Wesley and I were so humbled to be able to have a worship service at our wedding after the ceremony. We knew that’s the first thing we wanted to do as husband and wife; worship! Wesley and I chose three songs that meant something to us. I volunteered myself to sing the last song. I absolutely loved ushering in the presence of the Lord for the first time in a long time.
So now that we know the background of how all this came about, let’s get to the meat of the story. By now I’m sure you’ve figured out what’s going on. I auditioned to be on the worship team at my church in Murfreesboro… and I didn’t make it. Here’s the catch: it’s not the first time I’ve been told no. The biggest difference is my attitude towards it. The first time I was told I wasn’t good enough to be on the worship team was in ministry school; my freshman year of college. My attitude towards this was AWFUL! Of course, I thought I was all that and a bag of chips and I deserved to be on the team. (Good gravy.. I was such a brat). I also did NOT have the right heart about it. My goal was to make everyone get the feel goods about being in the house of God because I could belt some high notes. I wasn’t really concerned about the true presence of God being felt through praise and worship. And THAT is the biggest difference between the two times I was told I wasn’t talented enough. The first time hurt because I was making it all about me, so it was a personal blow. The second time, however, is the reason I decided to voice my experience.
My heart and attitude towards singing for the Lord has done a complete reconstruction. The biggest change: my audience went from being the church congregation to being God; from 100+, down to 1. When I was rejected the first time, I was mad, offended and never wanted to sing again. This most recent time I was told I wasn’t talented enough, didn’t really change much! I still sing worship songs at the top of my lungs in my car, I still love to sing in the shower, I still sing through the halls of the church and I still have to apologize for singing too much when I’m with friends because I still LOVE singing so much. When your focus isn’t on pleasing others or glorifying yourself, being told no is NO big deal! Wanna know what brings me the most joy? The Lord LOVES my voice. He LOVES to hear me sing His praises everywhere I go. He LOVES that his praise is always on my lips. And as long as the Lord is happy, I’m happy! When I changed my outlook and my audience, whether or not I was on the worship team didn’t define me.
So, to those of you with passions and dreams, be sure to look in the right direction. Remember who blessed you with your talent. Make your goal to please HIM. This world is just a place we are passing through and does not give us our worth. I know it is much easier said than done (seriously.. I know.. I have personally gone through it all my life in multiple arenas AND my love language is words of affirmation- double whammy) but make it your devotion for a while. Matthew 6:1 says “Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.” I don’t know about you, but no worship team is worth not having a reward from the Lord! Try to stay encouraged. Your worth is found in Him; not in the world!
Until next time,
Cheyenne (officially) Carter